do you know about Einstein?
and is it E=MC2 or
the fact that he didn’t speak until he was 9,
thought to be slow,
was expelled from high school?
do you know about Dr. Seuss?
and is it all 1 fish 2 fish or
is it the 27 rejected publishing attempts
before his first success?
do you know about me?
and is it the ability I have to speak in front of crowds and seem cool or
the fact that I used to hide behind my parents legs,
embarrassed to be breathing, just apologetically being?
most importantly, do you know about you?
and is it your genuine nature and the way you play or
just your poor standardized test score?
your so called defiance
and the fact that you’re “just one of those kids” who aren’t compliant-
this is for you,
first of all hello.
second of all I am sorry I have not written a proper piece for you
in the 15 months we have spent together
out of fear I could never do you justice.
out of fear I’d have to be the one to tell you that this world was not built
for you to succeed in it.
Einstein did not have to walk through a war-zone every morning to get an unequal education.
Dr. Seuss did not have to worry about resume bias,
I, I didn’t have to worry about anything
and all of us still found a way to have a hard time.
but now, I spend most everyday in a building of human stories that may very well end up like Aiyana jones’s or Tamir rice’s
but our society wants me to pretend there’s not a crisis
on my hands or in my heart
breaks every time another kid asks me if i’m buying him a christmas present.
”no, i’m not buying you a christmas present- i’m poor.”
i said accidentally to a poor kid,
then I wrote this poem on a 2,000 Macbook.
I have it so god damn easy and I’m always going to
based on the dumb luck lottery I won by being born
white and middle class.
I know you cannot gift wrap whiteness or its accompanying privilege,
and you cannot express mail a middle class upbringing.
I am here because there is nothing left to do, then, but hand microphones to those whose voices are underrepresented
and tools to those who deserve to build.
hey you kid, you deserve to build even in a world where the structure does not always support you.
I did not want to write this poem-
another white writer throws in her one too many senses on our race relations
which are less like relations and more like sick complications.
I did not want to write this poem-
but then my black fifth graders told me MLK defeated all the racists.
and I felt like I needed to say,
I wish with every inch of my love for you that you were right
and I mourn the moment that untruth is unfairly unraveled onto you.
I did not want to write this poem-
but then a black eighth grader told me there are
more smart white people than smart black people
and I felt like I needed to say, no
get that internalized racism out of your mouth or you will never have room
to tell the world how it is hurting you,
to tell the world you deserve better than to grow up believing that
to tell the world you’re a force to be reckoned with.
Never confuse your absence in the North American narrative with your lack of importance in it.
I want you to know that this game is rigged
but you can beat it.
that we measure intelligence in ways that are not always intelligent
but you are intelligent.
that we tell you give it your all
then we give you mere fractions.
but you are so whole.
our society has come a long way
but we have acres of ground left to cover
yes, we have acres of ground left to cover.
I am here, on your side.
in this world you are up against so much,
I cannot fight this for you.
but I am here.
I am here.
I am.
& 