September 2017

To the voice in my brain that tells me no one will give a shit about my poetry:

I am writing anyways. This poem is yelling a relentless echo around me for a reason. It knows hide and seek isn’t always a game, sometimes it’s a lifestyle. It knows I might as well have been wearing camouflage for my formative years but I am trying to live a different life these days, oneContinue reading “To the voice in my brain that tells me no one will give a shit about my poetry: “

Mental illness is like your shitty college roommate.

It kind of does whatever the fuck it wants whenever the fuck it wants. It speaks as loudly as it wishes, whenever it wishes. It keeps going on and on well after your bed time & after you asked it politely to stop. It ate your cereal again. (Oops.) When was the last time itContinue reading “Mental illness is like your shitty college roommate.”

At gas pumps

I always think I’m going to start a fire with static electricity which is about as unlikely as me relaxing at the gas station. When I’m there, I think about everything I have to lose. Sometimes, I do this in other spaces too. I think so much about what might  s l i pContinue reading “At gas pumps”

Today

I walk this world with flagrant fragility with grit, grace, & goodness. Today I sit on the floor and pretend it is comfortable to be sitting on the floor when really it’s just grounding, I mean really it feels like safety. Today I stop trying to collide the word comfort into the same spaces IContinue reading “Today”

This week, my body releases less-

less Christmas light, less cotton candy chemicals, less whatever science calls the shit makes me smile an hour wide for two weeks until there is nothing but now. There is nothing now, my lips, a tightrope, so good at their job- they never bow. This is my personal science. It doesn’t feel good so IContinue reading “This week, my body releases less-“

Maybe we don’t wear chain link but are still clad in defenses too heavy to hold.

This is how we human:

I. build homes of others until we realize how this does not serve us. II. construct shaky foundations born out of a lack of survival skills. III. forget to forgive ourselves for not learning the aforementioned survival skills sooner. IV. learn that roofs above our own heads come first. V. forgive and get on withContinue reading “This is how we human:”

Are you bored?

Do you wish you looked more like how you do in your dreams or how you did in your childhood visions of your full-grown self? Do you need someone to hear your thoughts and smile at them from time to time so that you know you’re a real boy? Boy, do I have something forContinue reading “Are you bored?”

There will be times where your gentle does not make sense to them.

Be soft anyways. When they don’t see you as Phoenix, when they just see you as ash, when your tears are floodgates you wish you would’ve learned how to operate ages ago and you can’t stop spitting “I’m sorry”s like sunflower seed shells. There will be entire decades that you apologize for yourself for aContinue reading “There will be times where your gentle does not make sense to them.”