I always think I’m going to start a fire with static electricity
which is about as unlikely as me relaxing at the gas station.
When I’m there, I think about everything I have to lose.
Sometimes,
I do this in other spaces too.
I think so much about what might
s l i p
I forget to appreciate it while it is right here in front of me.
The fastest way to stop appreciating the moment is to escape entirely from it.
I think so incessantly about the future I forget where I am right now.
I have become fantastic at this.
I’m like expert level 902 at this.
I could teach you, your sister and your aunt and that kid that never pays attention in the back of your class how to do this.
I tell myself I’m beating the time space continuum when I play escape artist
but I am not.
They say time travel isn’t real
but I assure you it is .
I have made weeks disappear
just wishing I was somewhere
or someone else.
They say teleportation isn’t a thing but
I
swear I’ve spent nearly three decades in two places at once.
What is it about the fantasy of somewhere else that seems so intoxicating?
Realistically, I only have this.
I only have now.
This moment and this stage
and this medium
and this body
and this.
So I’m trying to be here,
but be patient with me.
I might take some time
and I don’t even understand that shit.
& 