nor what you assume they say about me.
I am the steady voice that asks them to be used.
not just IN control
I am control even when I consensually give it away.
I am a sovereign entity, allocating all this power exactly as I see fit,
boundless even when bound
I am safe.
I am my safe word
NOT your lack of understanding of why I would like to use one.
I wrote this because you say you care about my safety but simultaneously put me in emotionally unsafe spaces
you live double standard
and wonder why I don’t understand you.
you have never been tested for STDS but insist that I’m risky.
you have ‘pure’ hands that don’t spank
because they ‘don’t condone violence against women’.
buddy when me-woman
literally asks you for it…..it is preference not a violence
but your silencing and shaming are definitely violences.
You say I only like being thrown around in bed because I think I deserve it.
you’re right- I do deserve it
not because I’m unworthy of feeling good but because that shit does feel good.
If, as you suggest, my masochism is a manifestation of my self-worth
fine.
My self worth is empowered is sexy
is damn sure of who it is.
It’s not low, it’s actually high
like so high it’s just over your head.
My self worth isn’t determined by your rating scale,
the number of sex partners I’ve had
or the kind of sex I choose to have because my self worth can’t be contained like that.
It is not as one dimensional as your thought process.
You are so off base my therapist cursed you out
even when I didn’t
and she actually gets paid not to do that. (Unlike me who has never been compensated for the immense amount of emotional labor I have poured into you)
She called your attempts to
contort me into my place
‘sexist bullshit’.
She snarked, ”oh I didn’t know you were dating a sexologist!”
I wasn’t.
I was dating a dish of butter pecan who just discovered he wasn’t vanilla.
When he bit into me, he didn’t realize he’d drool so much.
Oops,
I did it again
made a “woke” boy wake angry
rub the sleep from his eyes
mad my pussy knows all its favorite hobbies
mad my pussy has been places
…like on me
this whole time
even before you showed up
mad my pussy travelled all these miles:
Just kidding.
Pussys can’t travel
but it does like to sightsee
to explore
to absorb men
and then spit them back out
in shock of themselves
So good morning,
I didn’t mean to shake you
just kinda funny I’m the one who likes restraints
but you seem more than a little tied up.
& 