she stops me mid story to play
a guessing game
‘Wait! Wait! I want to get them all right!
‘Who has a kid on the way?’
‘Oh! Oh! he’s the bartender, isn’t he?’
‘Who lives in New York?’
‘What’s her name?’
this is love:
my mother
adapting in real time
to a future she couldn’t have imagined
for me.
love
abundant
ethereal
omnipotent
I wasn’t raised to think of love
in multitude.
my date and I are curled into one another on the couch
we feed each other candy
by hand
This is the future I couldn’t
have imagined for myself either
talking to my crush
about the people I love
and the ones I hope to
isn’t a thing I knew I’d find.
I ask my date, between gummy bears,
about who makes her weeks:
learning the landscapes
of my lovers is my new favorite
past time
present time
All the years I played
with my own heart for sport
c o l l a p se
when I kiss
the people I care about
or when I listen to them talk
about fucking anything.
I know each of their laughs
by heart,
their catch phrases,
(which I have accidentally stolen)
and their favorite flavors
fresh-squeezed grapefruit.
key lime.
pineapple gummy bears.
vegan icing.
someone I love
makes the best beet based juice
I’ve ever had
and tells me the color is me-
calls it by my name.
my hair isn’t even fuchsia
right now
but it makes sense
like we make sense.
someone I love
danced
in the aisle at rite aid
when I was waiting
for my prescriptions
didn’t even notice anyone else was watching
his eyes locked on me
like I make sense.
there are times I am terrified
of how the world is proving itself to be
and then there’s this.
there’s them.
& 