The worst part about not believing in god is that there is no one to barter with when my dads’ cancer drugs make him too weak to lift his arms he says to my mother, ‘don’t worry’ manages a smile attempting to be as luminous as his love ‘everyone dies of something,’ he says withContinue reading “Daddy Issues”
Category Archives: poems
me and alllllllllll of my sad walk into the poetry event
convinced nobody wants either of us to be there. we’ve heard we’re articulate in front of an audience but now we get stage fright just walking up to a circle of people that love us because how could they love both of us? love me and all of my ugly? in a conversation, we’re figuringContinue reading “me and alllllllllll of my sad walk into the poetry event”
the first person in the bloodline to analyze their trauma does so after causing their weight in it.
for years I became the shape of my anguish. I wasn’t just hurt. I was the hurt. when you are the wound and the salt you would do anything to stop the hellfire you have become but not before you enact the pain, make it reverberate into someone else’s lap say heavy say here sayContinue reading “the first person in the bloodline to analyze their trauma does so after causing their weight in it.”
My least favorite thing about being an artist is continually convincing myself I am not one.
Imposter syndrome taunts in a voice that sounds exactly like mine. Anxiety hands it a microphone. ADHD plays 52 card pick up with my thoughts- hyperfixates on negativity. Invisible illness renders me too damn tired to fight back. Capitalism builds an entire amphitheater for the performance finds a way to fill the seats and profitContinue reading “My least favorite thing about being an artist is continually convincing myself I am not one.”
I am talking to my mom about a partner.
she stops me mid story to play a guessing game ‘Wait! Wait! I want to get them all right!‘Who has a kid on the way?’‘Oh! Oh! he’s the bartender, isn’t he?’‘Who lives in New York?’‘What’s her name?’ this is love:my motheradapting in real timeto a future she couldn’t have imagined for me. loveabundantetherealomnipotent I wasn’tContinue reading “I am talking to my mom about a partner.”
try
for receptiveintentionalwillinggivingresponsivegentletryto open upmaybecome upshortmaybelevel upstill wake upTry.
It is widely known that sunflowers bend towards the sun
it isn’t true but I wish it were, that when they can’t find it, they turn towards one another. As my friend bikes across the entire city so we can trade books and sit six feet apart, I’m sure humans do that exact thing. In a pandemic, there are still poetry readings and celebrations. InContinue reading “It is widely known that sunflowers bend towards the sun”
I am somewhere beyond this existence.
the walls are made of flowers holding hands. no one gets grief for holding anyone else’s hand here you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel cry in any gender and still be seen as strong we know nothing of prejudice, capital, or constraint here save historical examples archaic relics, reminders of who we will neverContinue reading “I am somewhere beyond this existence.”
“Doesn’t it get very exhausting, viewing the world through that angry feminist lens?”
or, alternatively titled, ‘a study on how to dissect my anger and find it villain,’ find it too sharp, too mirror too reflective and you didn’t really want to see yourself as the problem did you so instead it is me and I am told to put on something else like maybe it would beContinue reading ““Doesn’t it get very exhausting, viewing the world through that angry feminist lens?””
When I laugh it is a holy sound
It is the thing I do in rebellion to the many things that try to trim my joy and sometimes gouge and sometimes win so when I smile, It is vast like the solar system stretched like a big top tent, wide as a tug boat pulling everything I’ve ever been right alongside me andContinue reading “When I laugh it is a holy sound”
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