scrollthrough the photosapp on my phone28,000 pictures and counting-delete duplicatesthe way I want to disappear myself(but I’m not a copy)stareat an image that appears inarguably beautifulor one in which I dorelish in howmy eyes see splendoreven through all the bullshiteven though somedays they can’t on those days death feels like a long awaited pause buttonaContinue reading “how to survive the unsurvivable or what I do while waiting for the world to regain its color”
Tag Archives: mental health
My least favorite thing about being an artist is continually convincing myself I am not one.
Imposter syndrome taunts in a voice that sounds exactly like mine. Anxiety hands it a microphone. ADHD plays 52 card pick up with my thoughts- hyperfixates on negativity. Invisible illness renders me too damn tired to fight back. Capitalism builds an entire amphitheater for the performance finds a way to fill the seats and profitContinue reading “My least favorite thing about being an artist is continually convincing myself I am not one.”
My shame is a mold that only grows in the parts of me I refuse to shed light on
refuse to talk about. I need a better flashlight a braver mouth a new dictionary to find fresh words to form familiar sounds in new ways. I write a lot of poems about growth but have you ever loved something so much you didn’t notice it never loved you back? sometimes, I’m so focused onContinue reading ” My shame is a mold that only grows in the parts of me I refuse to shed light on”
Mental illness is like your shitty college roommate.
It kind of does whatever the fuck it wants whenever the fuck it wants. It speaks as loudly as it wishes, whenever it wishes. It keeps going on and on well after your bed time & after you asked it politely to stop. It ate your cereal again. (Oops.) When was the last time itContinue reading “Mental illness is like your shitty college roommate.”
This week, my body releases less-
less Christmas light, less cotton candy chemicals, less whatever science calls the shit makes me smile an hour wide for two weeks until there is nothing but now. There is nothing now, my lips, a tightrope, so good at their job- they never bow. This is my personal science. It doesn’t feel good so IContinue reading “This week, my body releases less-“
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a thing with limbs
that wakes worried and walks woeful rolls in after half a months absence then melts me millimeter by millimeter to my mattress to make sure I know just how flat I am. It tried to get me to stay home today to put my mouth on mute today It tells me this poem is bullshit,Continue reading “Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a thing with limbs”
Here is every mental illness I’ve ever been diagnosed with, as a house.
because some people build homes out of their mental illnesses and I think I used to do that too. Homes are stable. Homes are steady. Homes are seemingly swell reasons not to go outside. This poem is a plea- Hey, no matter how comfortable your house is, please go outside. BIPOLAR is a house with soContinue reading “Here is every mental illness I’ve ever been diagnosed with, as a house.”
This is called how to chase happiness the way sadness chases you
because happiness is not something you can cross your fingers and hope for- it is something you must chase after even when your shoes are falling apart. so all puns intended this, this is a running list, as I am working on it we all are, so 1. Dissect your devastation Catalogs your concerns, surveyContinue reading “This is called how to chase happiness the way sadness chases you”
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