it’s been a year of years.

time, head down concentrating- lacing their shoes like a fever-dream I trip over sometimes, I look at the people I love and I see cheekbones and eyelashes. smiles brave and worn. In recent weeks I smile at myself in the mirror every single time I step out of the shower. (it’s liberating to unhold aContinue reading “it’s been a year of years.”

“Our tongues have a cadence.”

They move to whatever they move to and I don’t think we’ve taught them how to roll stack slide swirl push p u l l play so effortlessly off of and on top of around but never at expense of one another. their synchronicity teaches me to displace my worry of where things will goContinue reading ““Our tongues have a cadence.””

 My shame is a mold that only grows in the parts of me I refuse to shed light on

refuse to talk about. I need a better flashlight a braver mouth a new dictionary to find fresh words to form familiar sounds in new ways. I write a lot of poems about growth but have you ever loved something so much you didn’t notice it never loved you back? sometimes, I’m so focused onContinue reading ” My shame is a mold that only grows in the parts of me I refuse to shed light on”

I write the wrong poem and it scores well

every season I compete with it. a few seasons in I write the one I finally mean on a subject previously too scared to touch Ironically about a time I was too scared to touch (and in both cases I didn’t speak up until) I touch stage, kill the poem the audience exactly the rightContinue reading “I write the wrong poem and it scores well”

I am not the handcuffs on my bed post,

nor what you assume they say about me. I am the steady voice that asks them to be used. not just IN control I am control even when I consensually give it away. I am a sovereign entity, allocating all this power exactly as I see fit, boundless even when bound I am safe. IContinue reading “I am not the handcuffs on my bed post,”

“You know you can’t be walking around looking all cute like that, getting me all worked up like this.”

As it turns out, I can. As it turns out, your being turned on is not an excuse to turn off your brain. This honestly sounds like a personal problem. This is something I don’t have to don’t want to and am not going to help you with ‘cause this is what I damn wellContinue reading ““You know you can’t be walking around looking all cute like that, getting me all worked up like this.””

Perhaps you fell in love with the idea of me.

It was my hair, wasn’t it? it accented your t-shirt at the time or your eye color, or your endless insecurities. you forgot entirely that i am a person entirely- not just a big smile, an aesthetic, some kind of misplaced manic pixie dream girl let loose in the wild for you to discover andContinue reading “Perhaps you fell in love with the idea of me.”

Asked about the greatest fear they have with online dating,

cis-men most often answer that their partner might be fat. Asked about the greatest fear we have with online dating, trans people, non-binary folk, and cis-women most often answer that we might be murdered. It appears that a cis-mans’ greatest fear is someone not living up to their expectations while our greatest fear is notContinue reading “Asked about the greatest fear they have with online dating,”

today i am grateful to have a skeleton

that feels brave enough to speak up to me when i am treating it unkindly and thankful that i am privileged enough to answer his call. today i am working through a thesis about building structures to support my students with heavy hands that feel hot gravel graced each time i click clack a letterContinue reading “today i am grateful to have a skeleton”

I don’t know the last time I lived in a cage that didn’t rattle

or a body that didn’t feel like a cage I mean, this is my home but my armor feels like I mean my skin feels like that fifteen seconds of terror when I misplace my keys sometimes feels like movie marathons in folding chairs sometimes like I really need to get up and be anywhereContinue reading “I don’t know the last time I lived in a cage that didn’t rattle”